By Peter Moore
The blood· rolls down my
legs,
cupping each foot in a red
stirrup
and I am riding that
invisible horse,
the same one my mother rode.
ö From the poem ÎWomanâ by
Ai (Florence Ogawa)
Sometimes Iâm so slow to catch on, that when a realization hits me, Iâm amazed I havenât thought of it before. Raised in a family which put so much weight on being smart, its taken me a long time to realize the benefits of being slow. Iâve divested myself of the burden of being brilliant, thank God!
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Recently I was in New York to
celebrate my friend Chloe Goodchildâs musical directorship of the gala benefit
performance of Eve Enslerâs Vagina
Monologues. It was great to see/hear her perform a chant to the Divine
Mother in front of 18,000 people, as though it were the most natural thing in
the world; we could have been enjoying a laugh over a quiet cup of tea (weâre
both English). Thatâs the teaching I always get being around her. Total
surrender to what is, or what the soul requires of you. No attachment to
effort. Talk about lifting of burdens!
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Anyway, this is a roundabout way of
coming to one of those ãAhaâsä I mentioned above. And I need to thank my
clients, because they bring me these realizations÷or, together, weâre inspired.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ As I read Eveâs monologues it struck
me that there is no monologue just on menstruation. Iâve been curious about
this aspect of life, both as a mammal, and, being a man, as someone who doesnât
experience this. In my time with Lakota sweat lodges and ceremonies, women on their
moon are not allowed to be near them. Since it hasnât felt like my place to
inquire, I do not know why this is or if there are special ceremonies, such as
the moon lodge, for women. A woman from the Hunkpapa tribe once told me that it
was because of the energy difference in a menstruating woman, that it
neutralizes the medicine objects. This polarity shift I didnât understand at
the time, but a few weeks ago the idea became obvious.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ If we look at the female and male
polarities within us, the female receives in her genitals, and gives from her
chest. The male gives from his penis, and receives in his heart. (Do not
confuse receptivity with passivity. If youâve ever watched a baby suck, youâll
understand that receiving is not the same as being passive.)*
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Iâve often thought that the reason
childbirth could be so transformational is that this circle of energy is
reversed. Menstruation is another time when this basic female polarity is
reversed. Giving from the womb, and needing support for the heart. The old idea
of the moonlodge was a time for women to come together to bleed. The menstrual
blood would fertilize the earth. Also, all chores would be done for them, all
meals prepared and brought to them.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ If this sounds like mothering, or
rather, the women being mothered, this is because another energetic factor
comes into play when we are dealing with nourishment for the heart; namely,
when we are very little, we develop from the top down. Eye to eye contact, and
sucking and filling are energetically linked more to our upper body. It is only
later during toddlerhood and by the time we are about three years old do we
find the energy grounded more in our pelvis and legs.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Deprivations on all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, during our infancy, will show up as a deficiency or block around the heart and a difficulty in receiving or filling up with love. Since differences in the way we handle babies show up along gender lines, males are less likely to have been filled enough at this time. This gives rise to the stereotypical situation where the male in a nuclear family who may be very much in charge at the office, at home is like a baby. Thereâs nothing wrong with being a baby when weâre infants; it only becomes a problem when we have unmet needs from childhood which we unconsciously demand our mates to fill.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ So, guys, as I see it, our challenge
is to prepare to release old wounds and toxins from our hearts and work with
our inner female side to support this, as our female partners-in-life prepare
for menstruation. We especially canât look to them at this time to cure our old
heartbreaks/wounds. By contrast, our supportive inner female will need to
penetrate us from below with her strong Earth current, and be prepared to
receive into her heart the outpourings of our hurts. The usual cycle is
reversed for this special time. Could this be the meaning of the Lakota
piercing during the Sundance? To surrender to a bleeding from the chest? A wise
wound which brings peace, not the male blood of war. A compliment to the wise
wound of the femaleâs body?
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ In homosexual relationships, both
male and female, each partner would need to figure out for themselves which of
the two polarities needs support. This is true in the heterosexual dynamic as
well, so that, for example, if your feminine side needs more support for
release during the moon-time, and you feel you would like this support from the
feminine side, you would work with an image of a positive sister, mother,
grandmother (and so on), so that you feel swept up in a wave of positive female
support. By contrast, if you feel that your femaleness needs support from your
male side, what follows would be modified appropriately, e.g. substitute father
and grandfather for mother and grandmother.
If this becomes hard to do, you may have to work
with the negative side for a while, in order to release the negative feelings.
Once these are expressed, there will usually be a greater openness to the
positive side. For instance, if your mother or ãfriendsä at school gave you no
encouragement for your menarche, left you to find out for yourself, or shamed
you in some way, it would be helpful first briefly to embody this negative
aspect of your mother in a role play. Become her, move away from where youâve
been sitting or standing, and verbally and non-verbally give yourself these
negative messages. Exaggerate and feel the negative attitude in your body. (We
do this because we carry around these negative messages but are unaware of how
totally we do this to ourselves). Then take a breath and let that go. Come back
to your original position and let that experience sink in. If thereâs a
negative response, express that÷ the hurt, anger, loneliness, fear.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Arising out of the negative, there
may come a deeper appreciation of what the ãgoodä mother would say or do which
would support your menstrual journey. This may range from supportive words of
encouragement ãIâm looking forward to the day when you start to bleedä (as if
said to a girl before her first period), to elaborate ceremonies to welcome the
girl into a stage of womanhood. These can be created and lived out, or simply
carried out in the imagination. This celebration of menarche has often helped
an older woman adjust to menopause. (How can you let go of something if you
havenât been allowed to have it?)
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Itâs possible to strengthen this
work by following the negative line back a generation or two, role playing the
grandmother, then allowing the positive earlier generations to emerge. One way
to think of this positive aspect of our ancestors is that this is the part of
them which corresponds to their hopes and aspirations÷they would have hoped and
aspired to give us these positive messages if they could.
ÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊÊ Thatâs all for now. Next time: an
obvious message about thinking, emotions, and sensations (another one of those
ãahasä!).
*See Peterâs article ãSexual Union Inside and Outä in Sentient Times Dec Î00/Jan Î01 for more on this.
[Suggested
reading: Shuttle, Penelope and Peter Redgrove. Wise Wound (1978 MacMillan) 1988 Grove Press, New York, NY.
Francis, Luisa. Dragontime (1988)
1991 Ash Tree Publishing, Woodstock, NY. ]
Peter Moore graduated from
Oxford University, and, since 1980, has pursued his interest in healing.
Included with his study of a variety of modalities is certification and
postgraduate training with Siegmar Gerken Ph.D., and John Pierrakos M.D., the
founder of Core Energetics, an approach which attempts to unify the personality
on the levels of body, feelings, mind, will, and spirit. Peter is a licensed
marriage and family therapistÊ with a
practice in Eureka, CA, and can be reached at (707) 442-7228.