DEC/JAN 2002
Thoughts
in the Presence of Fear
Wendell Berry
The
Prospect of Peace
Daisaku Ikeda
Reducing
Dependence On Oil Will Ensure America's National Security
US
Civil Rights in Serious Jeopardy
Michael Ratner
Engineering
Consent on the Domestic Front
Danny Schecter
The
Emperor is Naked
Don Kyhote
Green
View of Fundamentalism vs. Modernism
Kelpie Wilson
The
One Eternal Truth
John Darling
World
Trade Organization Continues to Fail
Danila Oder
McKenzie
River Gathering: Funding Change for 25 Years
Richard Seidman
Dreams
and Visions: The Fountain of Wisdom
Royal D. Alsup, Ph.D.
From
Survival to Serenity
Ianna Bredal, MBA
Environmental
Film Festival Coming to Ashland
Barry Snitkin
Herbal
Help for Winter Weather
Chanchal Cabrera, MNIMH, AHG
How
to Make the Most Out of Your Therapy
Julie Weber, MSW
Taking
Aim at Blame
Peter Moore, MFCC, CGP
Understanding
Problem Behaviors of Animals
Jocelyn Y. Whidden
The
Christmas Presence
Peter Melton
Cosmic
Calendar
Salina Rain
Understanding Problem Behaviors of the Animals in Our Lives
By Jocelyn Y. Whidden
As an Animal Communicator, a common theme in the issues I’m asked to address is “negative” behaviors: “My dog barks incessantly” or “My cat fights with every other cat she meets” or “My horse always shies at that same thing.” So often the negative behaviors of our animals seem to defy our logic. Why does an animal exhibit the same, annoying or negative behavior, over and over, seemingly regardless of our response to it? We humans sometimes do the same silly things over and over because, for us, it makes sense. Surprise? Animals are no different.
A woman named Nancy called to ask me to talk to her little poodle, Gretta. She told me Gretta barked, at times almost incessantly, and Nancy couldn’t figure out how to make her stop. During our session, Gretta conveyed to me that Nancy was often frightened and felt insecure in her own home. Nancy was always watching the neighbors suspiciously and letting noises around her house startle and alarm her. Because Nancy was frequently on the defensive, Gretta sensed Nancy’s fear and vulnerability and would sound a belligerent alarm to guard Nancy and warn away potential intruders. When Nancy would reprimand Gretta to stop her barking, Gretta was confused. Gretta would sometimes ignore the request to stop barking, or would stop and look dejected and sad. Gretta thought that by barking, she was doing just exactly what Nancy needed: providing vigilant protection.
My prescription to Nancy was for her to work on relaxing and building up her own feelings of safety and protection, to execute her cautions (locking doors, being aware of sounds outside) with a relaxed and thorough approach rather than a fearful and defensive one (she lives in a relatively safe neighborhood, otherwise my prescription might have been to get another, larger dog).
For Nancy, rather than looking sus-piciously outside suspecting mischief or a threat, she could look outside with curiosity and interest in the goings on of the world around her, with an energy of positive optimism instead of negative and defensive assumption. Nancy, adjusting her energy to feel less fearful and more safe and secure, would allow Gretta to follow suit. I also explained to Nancy that because she shared such a close and loving relationship with Gretta, the two of them could work out signals that would help Gretta understand when it would be good to bark vigorously—like if a strange man were pounding on the front door at night, vs. when appropriate to be friendly and welcoming, or like when a close friend comes over for a visit.
Nancy’s impatience with Gretta’s seemingly senseless barking is an example of a type of misunderstanding that is rampant between humans and the animals in our lives. Just like people, animals respond to life with behaviors that feel appropriate to them based on their own thinking and experiences. Rather than punishing them for it, without understanding what is behind it, we can tune in to our animals and watch their behavior, evaluate our own roles in creating the worlds they are experiencing, and take responsibility for delivering an environment that is sane and safe. We can use our observations of their behavior and our own to modify our behavior and bring out the best and most harmonious relationships.
Just like us, animals’ behavior reflects the beautiful and painful experiences in their lives. We humans are wise enough today not to ask an alcoholic, “why don’t you just quit,” because we now understand that beneath that damaging behavior are layers of experiences and beliefs which limit options to that behavior. Just like with each other, we can introduce positive options to “negative” behavior in our animals. Just saying “No” (especially when yelled or accompanied by a blow) is akin to hollering at a child who wets the bed. We have the ability and the obligation to reach out and try to understand the behavior of animals in our lives in order to reach a mutual understanding and to take the next step toward harmonious relationships.
The evolution of technology in our lives brings both useful tools and lazy, harmful ones as well. One that falls into the latter category, in my opinion, is the new Shock Collars that are available. These are a quintessential example of punishing an animal for a behavior we humans haven’t taken the time to understand. Such an approach ignores our obligation as their guardians to provide the best life for them we can. So often, our own behavior triggers or reinforces “negative” behaviors in our animals. Reprimanding a creature for its behavior without examining our own is the worst kind of abuse.
Nancy was advised by her veterinarian to get a shock collar for Gretta to curb her barking. Can you imagine? Gretta, striving to meet her owner’s needs for safety and protection, throwing every ounce of energy her tiny body could muster into vigilantly and viciously barking to guard Nancy, and receiving a shock for it? While this aversion therapy might deter her barking, Gretta’s confusion and frustration would only expand the chasm of misunderstanding between her and her human.
Just like our inter-human relationships, 99% of the time conflicts are the result of a lack of understanding. I have never com-municated with an animal who was annoying on purpose or without a purpose. Their behavior, which we may label as frustrating or irritating is simply a by-product of something they’re going through, the result of an experience they’ve had, something that for them makes perfect sense. How many times have you been furious at someone until you talked it out and found out their perspective? Then suddenly, you weren’t feeling as reactive toward them? Even if the behavior still annoyed you, you might have felt more tolerant or compassionate because their behavior made sense? Just like in a marriage or friendship with another person, compromise and negotiation are the keys to harmony in our animal/human relationships. Providing options, taking into account the other’s perspective, being patient and compassionate are all vital tools to deepening understanding and connection.
Enhance Communication with Your Pets
There are some simple steps which can help to enhance communication with your pets. Start by acknowledging to yourself that they are their own creature with thoughts and feelings separate from your own, doing the best that they can with the conditions presented to them, just like people.
Sit back and watch them, without interfering with them; observe their expressions both facial and full-body; watch what they perk up about, or what they “frown” about. If you share a household with other people, watch how they respond to other people, what they seem to like or dislike. Be as objective an observer as possible. Objectivity is important. It is very common for us to assume animals share our likes and dislikes, our needs, our agendas. Beware of this and watch, always pushing yourself to leave you out of it.
The next level of watching is “tuning in.” Once you’ve gone to the effort of objectively observing your animal(s), turn it up a notch and ask what their feelings might be. Using words as you would use to describe your own feelings, describe their state of mind at any moment. Try this during some simple interactions between the two of you. This is easiest when distractions (food, toys, other people) are limited.
Since animals don’t speak with us, they rely on our choice of words, our tone, our body language, our energy level and intensity (for example, anger or annoyance are different energies from a person than love), and they rely on our minds. It is a proven fact that animals can pick up on the mental images in our minds. This conversation is particularly strong between animals and humans who love each other and are close. This is how a dog knows its human is coming home long before they pull into the driveway. Using this connection you can harness your attitude toward your animal on every level to be a finely tuned communication of love and negotiation.
Animals come into our lives with a message of unconditional love, a message we can share with them if we keep the line open and clear.
Jocelyn Whidden is an Animal Communicator serving northern California and southern Oregon via house calls, and others via phone and email, addressing a wide range of issues including behavior, history, health, exchanging information, increasing harmony and strengthening connections. Her classes include Animal Communication Techniques, Intuitive Dog Training, and Enhancing Animal/Human Relationships. Jocelyn may be contacted at (707) 443-8700 or jwhidden@humboldt1.com.
