SENTIENT TIMES October/November 2002

The Middle East ~ A Human Perspective

By Pam Derby

I returned recently from Syria and Lebanon as a participant in The Compassionate Listening Project, part of Mid-East Citizen Diplomacy, a non-profit organization with a 12-year track record dedicated to conflict resolution and peace building between and among North Americans and the peoples of the Middle East. Participants are trained to listen respectfully to all sides of the conflict. The purpose of the project is to build the international constituency for Mideast peace while offering a practical tool for conflict resolution on the ground

Many of the delegates on this delegation had previously visited both Israel and Palestine, crossing the borders to talk with representatives of both groups, sometimes in the same day. In order to emphasize the collaborative goals of the meetings, we were often introduced by noting that the group was a mixture of Jewish, Christian and Muslim participants.

Gene Knudsen-Hoffman, on whose ideas the project is based, describes the process: “Questions are non-adversarial. The listening is non-judgmental. The listener seeks the truth of the person questioned, and strives to see through any masks of hostility and fear to the sacredness of the individual, and discerns the wounds at the heart of any violence. Listeners do not defend themselves, but accept whatever others say as their perception and validate their right to it.”

Our group explored the subject of Palestinian refugees in both countries, visiting with top UN officials as well as leaders and residents of six refugee camps. We visited cities, towns and villages, spoke with citizens from many walks of life and met with prominent leaders in both Syria and Lebanon

Most Americans have little opportunity to become acquainted with the rich history and political environment of the Middle East, much less to personally encounter the people there. In light of the fact that the US congress is currently considering imposing severe sanctions on Syria, I would like to add the human dimension to the picture.

As a member of the Compassionate Listening Project, time seemed to stand still as I sat in a conference room or in a beehive mud hut listening to the day to day stories of people whose lives were so different from mine, yet whose hopes and dreams so similar. Everywhere we went we were immediately welcomed and made to feel like family. From desk clerks to cabinet ministers, from the poorest Palestinian to the American Ambassador and the seemingly tireless workers of UNRWA, (United Nations Relief and Works Agency) we found only openhearted hospitality. There is a quote from Kahlil Gibran, another Middle Easterner, “Should you really open your eyes and see, you would behold your image in all images. And should you open your ears and listen, you would hear your own voice in all voices.”

Syria has a new president, Bashar al-Assad who is deeply committed to modernizing Syria. He has initiated an exchange with a German consultation group to reorganize their banking system. They have recently developed Inter-net technology. (Believe me as we tried to communicate home from the Internet café, we became very appreciative of our own well developed system.) President al-Assad is also opening educational exchanges with the United States. Steve Seche, deputy to the American ambassador says, “Exchanges are our best investment in National Security.”

The UN representatives in Syria who work with Palestinian refugees through extremely difficult circumstances don’t seem to know the phrase “give up.” Syria is the only country that works on a 50-50 basis with the UN to support the 420,000 refugees and 14 camps within its borders. At the UNWRA field office, we were introduced to Angela Williams, a British national and the Syrian director. She struggled to hold back tears as she said, “You came at a time of great sadness for us for the suffering of people on the West Bank.” She spoke of the Hand in Hand project. In early 2001, when Israel invaded the West Bank, they bulldozed houses and left residents there homeless and unable to travel to work. The Palestinians of Syria, whose income averages thirty dollars a week, donated 1.4 million dollars to help their countrymen on the West Bank.

Our UN host then escorted us to Quneitra, a village in the Golan Heights. At the end of their occupation, the Israelis bulldozed the town. When the residents returned they found nothing but giant piles of limestone and concrete rubble. I found it hard to breathe as I walked among burnt rubble and came upon the skeleton of a hospital with a charcoal exterior. From the rooftop of a fragment of the hospital, we saw hilltops with Israeli guard towers and we knew we were being watched. I, as a safe and sheltered American, was breathless at the reality of people living under the daily possibility of attack.

We left the site of demolition and headed for a nearby refugee camp to visit the women¹s federation there, one of many organized in 1968 to upgrade the lives of the women. This was the first of our visits to many camps. Some were small villages of blockhouses; another was an army barracks left over from World War II. Some had streets that small vehicles could maneuver, others had alleyways so narrow only one person could pass at a time. Women and children in colorful cotton shirts and traditional velour long dresses came out from doorways. A tall fig tree wedged its way between aluminum sheeting that protected the roofs. In the homes they left behind, there were gardens of lush fruits and vegetables, which the refugees try to recreate whenever they can.

We met with one women¹s group at a local school. About 30 children, dressed in purple shirts and navy pants, lined the sidewalk to greet us. Their bronze faces and large ebony eyes were framed with dark hair crowned with navy berets. They burst into song—a Middle Eastern chant accompanied with loud clapping. What a joy—these poverty-stricken children so delighted to welcome us.

The women told stories of courage and community. One woman pleaded, “Please take our message to America. We are a people who want peace.” The woman next to her continued, “We woke up from our dream to find ourselves homeless in a foreign land. We dream to go home. We just want to die on our land.” Each woman talked of ways she worked all day to bring in a small wage, one sold biscuits to the school, one farmed a small plot of land, many were maids. Tears sprang to my eyes as they spoke of how grateful they were that we were there.

This was a trip of contrasts so extreme that my mind cannot really hold them. I was served pastry and coffee on the Ambassadors veranda in fine china. An hour later, I was offered Turkish coffee in tiny cups in a limestone hut with hand woven rugs covering the dirt floor. I heard stories of a history so ancient I could hear the whispers of ghosts, and stood in the very underground home in Damascus where St. Paul fled after his conversion. Then that night I danced in a disco in the old city of Damascus to MTV with young people in short, sexy dresses.

One morning we stood at the cemetery of 1000 graves of villagers who were slaughtered with hatchets during the civil war in Lebanon. A witness told us, “We must educate our children, and not in hate. It is my hate I must not pass on to my children.” And before we could catch out breath, we were dashed off to an audience at the palatial home of the sister of the Prime Minister. There we were in our tennis shoes, caked with mud, standing on elegant Turkish carpets surrounded by ornate paintings and drinking Turkish coffee from bone china.

Once I personally looked into the eyes and heard the stories of people struggling for their daily existence amidst the daily threat of war, dreaming the same dreams as those of us who are privileged to live in relative peace, the thought of war became devastating. I can only pray for new ways to resolve conflict besides violence, killing and destruction.

For further information about the Compassionate Listening Project and Mid-East Citizen Diplomacy visit www.mideastdiplomacy.org.

Pam Derby is a licensed psychotherapist in practice for 30 years. She lives in Ashland, Oregon and is currently writing a biography of a battered woman. She is available for talks and will be speaking at Trinity Episcopal Church in Ashland on Oct 13 and 20. Contact Pam at pderby@opendoor.com

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