April/May 2004

Peace Candidate Dennis Kucinich Vows to Stay in Race
Interview by Amy Goodman

Winds of Change in Spain
William Rivers Pitt

"House of Bush, House of Saud"
Interview with Craig Unger by Amy Goodman

"Seeds of Deception"
Jeffrey Smith

Genetically Engineered DNA Found in Traditional Seeds

New Findings Show Health Hazards of Genetically Modified Crops

An Evolutionary Conversatoin with Barbara Marx Hubbard
Alan Sasha Lithman

Making A New Declaration of Independence
Michael J. Tamura

Empathic Listening
Holley Humphrey

Intimacy With Self and Others, Earth and Spirit
Loba

2004 State of the Universe Address
Swani Beyondananda

Cosmic Calendar
Salina Rain

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Intimacy With Self and others, Earth and Spirit

By Loba

One careful step after another, we descend not only deeper into the canyon but deeper into the unexplored aspects of self and sisterhood, purpose and place. Together we wonder at the magic of the fairy grass, embrace and engage oak trees and ponderosa pines, and stare for long moments at the mandalic patterns of lichen nested atop volcanic rocks. There are precious moments spent admiring shiny red beetles mating on stems of willow, acknowledging each lovely butterfly that flies by. We say few words, speaking more in gestures and giggles, waved scarfs, deeply drawn breaths and sighs. There is so much to notice and celebrate we find ourselves drawn down into the present moment, with no thoughts of our troubles or traumas. It doesn’t erase our histories, but offers us a new chapter, creating a shared story of sisters connected through the umbilical of the Earth. We know ourselves as one, not through thought and conclusion but through touch and tears, laughter and love: through a deliberate process of coming closer.

Intimacy is conscious, intentional familiarity, requiring an investment of time, focus, and response. The word derives from the Latin intimus, meaning “within.” The journey to greater familiarity with other people and other species begins by delving into our own inner reaches, by the processes of acknowledging and binding together the diverse parts of our whole and sacred selves. We hold the power to unify our seemingly disparate parts—our lust with our innate purity, our need to grieve with our need to celebrate, to feast as well as fast, our need to give love and attention as well as to receive these precious gifts. Intimacy is sharing aspects of our authentic selves, and to do that credibly we must first know who we are.

How precious is the time we invest in developing intimacy! Time with ourselves, taking every opportunity to be alone as a chance to get out of our heads and feel what is going on in our hearts. We make every quiet moment meaningful, and do our best to banish the endless tape loops of self-analysis, criticism, fantasy and projection that we so often lose ourselves in. We focus through our hearts. What are we really feeling? What unmet needs leave our hearts aching? It can be scary delving into the depths, because then we have to take responsibility. No wonder we distract ourselves with radio, TV, magazines, when we have time that could be used for intimate prayer, for sacred solitude—or sacred relationship.

Complete honesty, with ourselves or others, is absolutely essential for intimacy. Do we kid ourselves about our needs, fears and unrealized dreams? Do we find ourselves relating to our friends through the superficial—talking about movies, sports, other places and times than the here and now? Or do we share our rawest wounds, our most precious dreams, our hugest fears, our inspirations and strengths? Do we speak only of ourselves, or do we ask others to share their hearts as well? True intimacy between humans requires a constant uncovering of the protective layers we build around us. We too often get hurt, patronized or criticized when we show our vulner-ability. But to be real and open requires effort on all our parts, in every unfolding moment. If we have done the work of knowing ourselves, we can at least become conscious of whenever we allow a “mask” to assume our identity! Intimacy requires we listen closely to our intuition and challenge each other whenever a loved one seems to be indulging in illusions and expecting us to reinforce a state of denial. Intimacy is almost always more of an effort than staying in the “shallow end” of things, and it is much aided by our clear vision and intention.

At our gatherings, as much as I make space and time for wordless sharing, we also take in the blessing of medicine talks. It’s amazing to hear the powerful stories that each woman carries. And it’s even more amazing how, no matter how different our stories are, there are common threads that bind us all together. We have all endured grief and heartbreak, experienced amazing transformations and powerful transitions, given huge amounts of love and energy to things we are passionate about, experienced bouts of disconnection and self-doubt, and had times blessed with grace and wonder. We laugh at each other’s most improbable stories, and tears fall down our faces as we come to know each woman’s heartbreak as our own.

It’s important we make our conversation and contact as intimate as possible. Going for walks together in nature, and agreeing to stay in the present moment helps. Candlelight, beautiful clothing, the perfect music, wood heat, smudges, etc. are all aides to creating an intimate space for our special times together. We can treat ourselves, as well as our dear friends, family, and lovers to these intimate gestures, and in giving foot washing, massage, home cooked meals and decadent desserts we say “this is how much I care about you!” In the most healthy relationships we dish out both loving challenges and deep nurturing. Paying close attention to the needs of others at all times, we do whatever we can to help one another thrive. This is true whether we are talking about our sisters and sweethearts, or the living Earth of which we are a part. We feel the pains and frustrations of others as we would our own, experience their ecstasies exploding in our hearts. Touching each other deeply, we are in turn touched. We know in our bodies the truth of our oneness, not only with our sisters, but with all of creation.

Intimacy depends on an advanced degree of empathy, which can be a difficult load to bear sometimes. As we share in the bliss of butterflies and the ecstasy of the ocean, we also take in the pain of the pavement covering so much of our Mother’s sacred body, children starving, the agony of bulldozers ripping into her beauteous curves. Opening our hearts to the All is not something we can do selectively, and we cannot take in the “light” without feeling and dealing with the implications of the dark.

Intimacy flourishes with gratitude, and in our every act and gesture we embody thankfulness for food and fire, shelter and clothing, inspiration and beauty. Thank-fulness for this deepened familiarity with our selves, with each other, and for this world. We rejoice—investing our whole beings, our loving focus, our trust, our promise, our prayer.

Loba lives on an enchanted wilderness sanctuary and ancient place of power, teaching Gaian spirituality and hosting women’s quests, wildfoods workshops, and the annual Wild Women’s Gathering (June 17-21). For information on events, presen-tations, writings and special resident apprenticeships contact The Sweet Medi-cine Women’s Center & Earthen Spirituality Project, Box 820, Reserve, NM 87830; mail@earthenspirituality.org; www.earthenspirituality.org.